One of the most difficult things to deal with when it comes to online dating is getting to the first meeting only to find that someone who seems easy enough to talk with online isn’t nearly as easy to deal with in person. While there can be a lot of reasons for this, we have found the most common difficulty to come from how she expresses herself in person, especially if it is much more subtle than how she seemed to respond online. While you won’t be the first person in England to struggle with this, dealing with it can be a difficult task. In most cases, you won’t have any hints before you actually show up and find out that the person who was mostly understandable in text, gives you nothing to run with in person, and that can be more than enough to make most people give up. We don’t see why you should have to lump yourself in with everyone else, however. Sometimes it’s the challenge that makes it all worthwhile. That being said, you should also be cautious of the meeting women online scams. Visit meetwomenonlineguide.co.uk to find genuine UK singles and steer clear of the scam artists.
Be Prepared to Ask a Lot of Simple Questions
From the very beginning, keep in mind that the most important tool in your kit is remembering to ask many, very specific questions. Think if it likes narrowing your search results from when you first looked into sites to meet women compared, by starting off with something broad and carefully whittling things down until you found exactly what you were looking for. The same thing applies here, but is, in a way, far more important when it comes to someone who really is not giving you much to work with. Typically, this comes in the form of single word answers, and unchanging, or consistently bland expression, or even just someone who seems constantly distracted. Whatever the case may be, dealing with a date that doesn’t give you the sort of information you are used to getting from tone of voice, expressions, and other hints may seems difficult, but is usually worth the effort. Getting someone to open up who first seemed distant is, after all, a very rewarding experience.
The most basic way to approach this scenario begins simply with the need to asses where she stands at any given time. For example: not smiling is not the same as not being interested. In many cases what we consider to be an uninvolved or uninterested expression is usually due to the expectation that her default expression should be smiling. This is just something we are brought up to expect rather than something women actually do naturally, so double check to make sure what you consider to be a blank expression really isn’t just an unrealistic expectation. On the other hand, if her expression more or less never changes, this can be a good sign that you are dealing with someone who is going to take a little more work to get to know. That means paying closer attention what she does do, and prodding more directly for the information you want. Multiple choice and true false questions are poor as opposed to prompting her to give some sort of anecdote or explanation.
Pay Attention to Body Language Other than Expression
While you are asking away, be sure to keep a close eye on the rest of her body language, as even people who are considered to be somewhat emotionless will often times display their feelings in some other manner. This might come from tone of voice, but it might also come from where she looks, a tilt of her head, or how she sits in relation to you. Is she closing herself off by turning aside or crossing her arms? Does she seem otherwise welcoming through a relaxed stance and resting on the heels of her feet? Is she leaning towards or away from you? Putting at least as much effort into figuring out what the rest of her body language is saying as you did in finding sites to meet women compared will often reveal far more than you thought was available in the first place. No matter how stand-offish she might appear, or how little information she gives verbally, you can usually tease some sort of information out of her physical response to your questions and actions.
Take Her at Her Word
One important thing to remember when dating someone who doesn’t seem all that responsive in most other ways you might be familiar with is to always take what she says at face value. If you are going to get a lot of short, unelaborated replies, and are appropriately asking all sorts of specific questions to clarify things, you need to believe her answers. Don’t go looking for hidden meaning and don’t assume that she is trying to say something other than the actual words coming out of her mouth. While in most other cases, it is often tone and context that can completely change how something is supposed to be taken; in this case, you can expect the words to them to be the most important part of your interactions. Failing to take her at her word is failing in the relationship.
Most people who are less than vibrant in their expressiveness are exceedingly blunt and forthright in their words. Even if they aren’t, they want you to believe they are, and in the case of new relationships, that should be more than enough for anyone in England to just roll with it. While taking people at their word is generally important no matter what the extenuating circumstances, it is especially important in this case, because any other information you take away from what is said will have been something you put there. In other words, you will be making assumptions based on what you think instead of what she is actually demonstrating or saying. Any time you put yourself in the position of being a more reliable source of information on someone than they themselves are, you are setting yourself up for a nasty let down, and it is important to learn how to catch yourself in the process, so that it does not become a problem. This is best kept in check by the aforementioned tactic of just asking a lot of questions with simple answers.
Be up Front and Very Blunt
It’s important to keep in mind that someone who is not very expressive themselves is probably going to put more emphasis on what you say than how you are saying it. In fact, taking you at only your word and not anything to do with the context, the tone or the body language involved is something very common among people who themselves are not very emotive. Just like finding sites to meet women compared, we often judge and interpret based on our own experiences and ways of interacting. Thus, if she is not giving you much to run with when it comes to expression or body language, let alone tone, you can’t expect her to much put weight into any of those things either. Be blunt and straightforward even to the extent that you might feel rude for it. It is a lot easier to apologize for being too honest than it is to make up for an emotional misunderstanding because you didn’t say what you meant.